This tribute was given by Kevin at the celebration in Clontarf Castle on 6 September 2019.
Shakespeare, in his play As You Like It says;
All the world’s a stage and
William Shakespeare, As You Like It
All men and women merely players.
My part today is to pay our tribute to our beloved Rita on behalf of her brothers and sisters.
Family
Rita was our big sister, bold and bossy. She was also a dedicated perfectionist. She forged her early years in a Dublin of the austere 1940s, ’50s and emerging ’60s. Holidays, like food and money, were in short supply. But, as our mother used to say, “better born lucky than rich”. We had very kind aunts and uncles. My brother Pat and I would go to Leitrim, Monaghan, Cavan, Wexford and Kildare. We had many happy holidays in the company of our our cousins.
Rita, however, would always opt for time with our maternal grandmother in Ballycastle, Co Mayo. She always knew what she wanted, and indeed what she didn’t want. Family folklore has it that, in one of her moments of precocious impatience she was heard to say, “granny, you’re getting on my two nerves”! Granny knew where she stood.
With Rita, we all knew where we stood.
School and College
Rita attended the convent of St Louis, Rathmines and continued on to their convent of St Louis in Balla, Co Mayo. Always a conscientious student she was often chosen to play her part in their many operettas. We fondly remember her playing the leading role as Arline in The Bohemian Girl. She was always a bit of a dreamer and with a voice both true and sweet, she sang that she “dreamt [she] dwelled in marble halls”. She sang her many arias over many years to the pleasure of family and friends.
Another favourite in her repertoire was the beautiful This is my lovely Day from Bless the Bride, which she would sing with her fiancée Michael accompanying her on piano. On one occasion she requested me to join her in a duet. I, with Feis Ceol experience and being a cheeky Jackeen, was very happy to oblige. On cue, I swung into my part with the confidence of the great Italian tenor, Gigli, complete with a rich Italian accent. Rita was not amused and responded with profound disapproval. “If you’re not going to do it properly then don’t do it at all”. Alas, that was the knife — the beginning and end of what might have been a momentous sibling collaboration.
The Carpenters were not in danger of being upstaged.
Rita — Mother, philosopher, adventurer
Rita liked to quote the famous declaration of Socrates “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Well, live it she did. She and Michael married in 1962 and, soon after, moved to Stockholm, Sweden. With Michael’s gifts in engineering, music, and avid interest in literature and languages, as well as Rita’s exceptional talent for music and drama we all agreed that it was a marriage made in heaven. But, alas, even heaven has some responsibilities to answer for.
All was not lost, however. A lot of good emanated from that marriage. All four of her family are here today, Éamon, Clara, Sharon, and Enda, along with her beautiful grandchildren, Robyn, Holly, Sadhbh and Diarmuid.
Rita, although slight of build, had enormous energy and she applied that energy to her role as a most caring mother, provider and mentor to her young family. It was a home full of faith, hope and much love. How she managed through those difficult years is still a mystery to all of us. But her family bears testament to her success. I rest my case.
Rita — Arts and drama
Rita saw art in life and life in art. She pursued her ambitions and developed her skills, eventually setting up her own drama school in their Clontarf home, encouraging her young students to discover their own talent and to develop their own skills. Many of them are here with us today and our world is better for that.
As was common in those early years, we had many family gatherings, with Rita and family performing their favourite party-pieces in drama and their dad contributing his part on the piano. He also had his own party piece, Beautiful Dreamer by Stephen Foster.
Rita would also give inspiring performances of the rich collection of recitations, inherited from our mother; O’Rourke’s Request, Oberammergau, How Paddy Got to Heaven, and alas, that unforgettable heart-breaker Papa’s Letter. I say Rita performed her recitations but, on reflection, I hasten to correct myself; she inhabited them.
Well, Rita went on to join The Sundrive Players and later The Ennis Players, achieving many accolades along the way, eventually leading to top awards in the famous All-Ireland Drama Festival. Her range of performance was exceptional from the satanic terror of The Righteous Are Bold, to a more recent and indeed notorious production by The Ennis Players of Calendar Girls. The latter bringing shock and considerable shame on the family.
Rita in London
Rita loved London and travelled over many years to see her favourite West End shows. My brother and I had established our working lives there and, with some friends, we formed a folk group which we named The Heathsiders.
Rita attended one of our performances and I later asked how she enjoyed the gig. “God,” she responded, “You’re a right crowd of chancers!” She was a very good judge of talent. The Heathsiders went on … to be completely and monumentally forgotten.
Rita — a trusted confidante and public speaker
Rita was intelligent, liberal, logical and open-minded; never afraid of confronting the challenges of life. She was a true, loyal and trusted confidante. We shared our views on many issues over as many years. Always an attentive listener she went on to contribute her knowledge and considerable experience of life to the commendable work of The Samaritans and, in later years, to the equally great work of the Sisters of Jesus and Mary in Nigeria.
Public speaking was another of Rita’s passions and with Toastmasters she went on — yes, you’ve guessed correctly — to win many Irish as well as international awards for her public speaking.
Now, lest we get carried away extolling the virtues of our beloved sister, it is only fair to say — like the rest of us — she wasn’t perfect, nor would she herself ever claim to be. She had her own sincere and firm convictions on many issues. Her forthright opinions often brought her into conflict with her own nearest and dearest, including yours truly. We enjoyed a good exchange of views over many years, agreeing or disagreeing as the case may be but, most importantly, never falling out over disagreement; we would often agree to disagree. We both found solace in these meaningful lines of Leonard Cohen:
There is a crack in everything,
Leonard Cohen, Anthem
That’s how the light gets in.
The Final Act — The Parting Glass
It means so much to the family to have all of you with us today. Rita would have so loved to meet you all. A special thanks also for the flood of sympathy from family and friends who cannot be with us here today.
Rita’s gentle voice will continue to be a great comfort to us as we pay tribute to her in the words of WB Yeats — one of her favourite poets:
Think where man’s glory most begins and ends
William Butler Yeats, The Municipal Library Revisited
And say my glory was I had such friends.
Rita, your friends are with you here today. You were a wonderful, loyal and loving mother to all of your children.
You lived your life for your family, your friends and your art.
And you lived it well.
We will all miss you terribly.
The Bohemian Girl now dwells in marble halls, somewhere beyond the furthest star — where mystery and science may someday rhyme.
Rita, we give you a final encore; farewell for now;
Our Bohemian Girl.
Our Beautiful Dreamer.
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